Death makes us realise
by shadow-walker135
Summary: When James T. Kirk was dying after saving his crew, he finally works up the courage to tell Spock how he really feels about him. Oneshot.


**Title: **Death makes us realise

**Author: **shadow-walker135

**Summary: **When James T. Kirk was dying after saving his crew, he finally works up the courage to tell Spock how he really feels about him.

**AN: **Yeah so I recently got hit with the Spirk wave and was thoroughly converted to the pairing. I love both the original series and the new films so I just thought that I should write something dedicated towards this amazing pairing. Set during _'Star Trek into Darkness'_ and is probably horrendously OOC. Also, I know the title is shit, but it's two in the morning and I can't think of a better one; so, anyway, please read and review.

"Spock, I...need you to know why I went back for you."

Spock had tears building in his beautiful brown eyes and Jim didn't think that he had ever seen anything more striking that the shimmer of emotions that were currently running through his first officers eyes

"Because you are my friend."

Just hearing him say it had Kirk's already faltering heart skip a beat, but it wasn't what he truly wanted his friend to say

"No...Spock, I went back for you because I love you."

Spock looked shocked, and Jim didn't wait to hear his answer, simply placing his hand on the glass of the door with a great deal of struggle. Spock looked at his hand, his face looking completely devastated as he placed his hand over Jim's through the too thick glass, their fingers slowly shifting into the Vulcan hand sign. Jim smiled weakly at Spock; what was left of his strength left him and his vision began to swirl with black as the life drained from his body and he fell quite willingly into the warm and dark abyss that awaited him. His hand slipping down the window and away from a now freely crying Vulcan.

* * *

Jim woke with a start, his blue eyes flying open and being welcomed by a stark white room. Jim blinked a couple of times and cleared his throat lightly

"Oh, don't be so melodramatic. You were barely dead."

Bones drawled as he came into view, running a scanner across his head "It was the Transfusion that really took its toll; you were out cold for two weeks."

"Transfusion?"

Jim was confused, '_how did I get here?'_

"Your cells were heavily irradiated, we had no choice."

Bones explained as he ran the scanner lower. Kirk watched his friend for a split second before his mind suddenly caught up with him being awake. '_Khan. What about Khan?'_ He opened his mouth and struggled to get the word out

"Khan?"

Bones put the scanner down on a tray

"Once we caught him I synthesised a serum from his, super blood." He picked up another medical instrument, waving it around "Tell me, are you feeling homicidal and despotic?"

"No more than usual." Jim weakly joked, pink lips curving upwards slightly "How did you catch him?"

Bones smirked then

"I didn't."

Bones walked around to the other side of the bed and Spock came forward from where he had been lingering in the shadows in the corner of the room, his back straight and hands clutched neatly together. The first thing Jim noticed was how tired he looked, greenish bags beginning to form under his dark brown eyes, that were also full of weariness. His first officer came to a stop near the side of his bed and gazed down upon Jim, whilst Jim gazed back. He smiled at Spock, his lip quivering slightly with the effort but he managed a wonky half smile and received a twitch in the corner of the Vulcan's mouth for his efforts

"You saved my life."

His voice came out much more gravelly than he thought it would and he found himself wanting to cringe at it.

"Uhura and I had something to do with it too, you know?"

Bones butt in, looking up from what Jim thought were charts, but he couldn't really see that well from the corner of his eye

"You saved my life Captain, and the lives of..."

Spock, just..." He closed his eyes, then reopened them "Thank you."

Spock nodded ever so faintly

"You are welcome, Jim." He looked at Bones "Doctor McCoy, if I may have a moment alone with the Captain?"

Bones just grunted a "Don't let him wander off" to Spock before leaving the room. Only once the door had slid firmly back in place behind the CMO did Spock speak

"Jim, I wish to discuss what you said to me when you were passing."

"Spock, can't this wait? I'm tired and I can't handle the rejection right now."

Spock visibly frowned, his shoulders tensing

"Why do you believe that I will reject your proclamation?"

Jim struggled to sit up, holding up a hand when Spock moved to force him down again and waving him off

"Well, you're in a relationship with Uhura."

"Lieutenant Uhura and I terminated our relationship upon a mutual agreement two point three weeks ago."

"What? Why?"

"Because I realised after you had died that I did indeed Love you also. I could not keep seeing the Lieutenant after I had this revelation and you were stable and on the road to recovery. We terminated our relationship when I explained the circumstance to her."

Jim just stared at him. Mouth hanging agape and ice blue eyes staring at Spock

"You love me?"

"I had thought from our current conversation you would have grasped that information by now Captain."

"But, you, Mr Spock." He pointed to Spock and then to himself "Love me, Jim Kirk."

Spock hesitated before giving a swift, single nod in confirmation. Jim's heart filled with a warm, light feeling that welled in his chest and spread through his body. His eyes began to twinkle

"C'mere Spock."

The officer ventured closer to the bed, being taken by surprise when Jim grabbed him by the front of his red Starfleet uniform and dragged him into a searing kiss, nearly making Spock lose his balance and fall on top of his Captain. Not that Jim would have complained in he had of course. _'Damn Vulcan balance!'_ Jim thought to himself, although even the notion of having thoughts seemed very far away when Spock pushed his tongue against his, and Jim can honestly say that he's never felt happier.

**AN**: Yeah, so kind of a cheesy ending and whatever, but I hope you enjoyed reading it all the same. Anyway, until next time – shadow-walker135.


End file.
